If given a chance to show the world a difference, would you not take it?
If you could see me before I gave my life away,
before the time that came when all my emotions were lost,
when a friendship held some meaning beyond assistance,
where the bounds of reality were strictly defined,
and my chaotic disposition was too clear to describe,
if you knew me then, would you want to be at my side?
If you could understand the trouble my mind brews itself,
an overwhelming depressive power that broadens the scope,
ravaging the will to exist and hurting the physical core,
blending the fictions of everything with the reality of nothing,
a bilateral thought process lateralized just the same,
anguish that manifests as undenyable attraction,
and a committed lack of belief that has led to another,
if you could understand, would you care to be at my side?
If I had a personality would it make a difference,
divided by circumstance no singularity holds it together,
a longing desire to be extraordinary enlivens the spirit,
broken desires to be wanted eat away at the body,
confused approaches to a new friendship rattle the mind,
can my gifts ever be any degree reciprocated,
or am I just wasting everybody elses time,
and does a complete lack of morality hinder my persona,
if I had a single personality, would you need me at your side?
I have given everything you hold for granted away to be unlike any of you in order to help us all.
I want so much to be like all of you at the same time,
that it drives me crazy and I find myself perpetually alone,
the active search to understand and comprehend,
has washed away the simple feast to succumb to primal desire.
I would give almost anything to borrow a shoulder to cry on.
If I were not trying to explore a different avenue,
when all the others may as well lead to the same venue,
does pulling anybody along help them or tear them apart,
the place where I am seeking may not be habitable,
can the chance be taken when such rewards do away,
and if I can just explain to you the reason of my whys,
will you sit on the benches so my crowd won't be empty?
Whether I can take you by the hand and go with you, have you show me the way, or show you the way, appear of equal consequence.
If you are driven by rage I am driven by not,
If an emotion pulls your desire to go a single way,
it is no more than logical reason that dictates my path,
where you see a god, I see three reasons just the same,
and the place where you have an achievable goal,
I've situated a lofty desire that strikes fear into my soul.
There are times when I think that maybe I should just sit back and feel happy, but true goal of contentment would go unfulfilled.
If your need for company is satisfied by another,
you should see that my wish isn't the same,
a hole filled with only half of the dirt is still a hole,
completion of filling by components leads to my confusion,
I'm angered by the departure of another from the fold,
so heightens the quest to discover the looming truth,
but behold the fact remains that a part of me is dying,
and it threatens to take my entire body far away.
I feel that I can not let waste what skills have been given to me.
The wish to move to the music is denied,
another empty journey that leads me to the burning fact,
a simple set of burning candles and sustinance,
they simply disappear and rot away without the face of another,
a grand creation unlike that which you've ever seen,
is protected from all eyes by a lost desire to know,
and when all things come to close on the others,
the overflowing oceans are causing me to drown.
If somebody were to help me then maybe I might not feel this way.
So when I see the chance to make a difference,
on the horizon a way to create that which I may seek,
I'm obliged to leave what is here behind and continue,
not dwelling on the partial survival but on one true goal,
but if somebody did care they may embrace me,
and ask of me that I should stay here at there side,
but my ambitions are dying and I find the same too difficult,
it isn't progressing and since I am already dying,
I might as well continue onwards quicker into my demise.
Lest thee who guide me into my demise at least show me the beauty of my survival. And all those who deny me my right to escape, may ye still be at any time welcomed into what we once called the identity of the enigma's only nation.